Main contributors: Dianne Lowther; Shelle Rose Charvet; Andrew Hardman

Summary:

If you want to convince someone to buy, to authorise, to agree or to change, wouldn’t it be useful to know how that person can be convinced most easily One of the greatest benefits of this can be in reducing your stress. If you need to influence other people then it helps to understand how people become convinced.

There are two elements to a convincer strategy, one relates to the way the information is presented, the other is the time factor.

The first is the convincer representational system or how the person has to have the information represented in order to be convinced: Do they have to see it, hear it or experience it for themselves? Think about this for yourself – suppose you have a new colleague. How would you know that the new person was good at the job – would you have to see them do it, hear about it, or perhaps work alongside them and experience it? If you have to see it to be convinced that the person is good at their job, then chances are you also have to see it to be convinced of anything else. Doubtless, the person who coined the phrase “I’ll believe it when I see it” had a visual convincer. Someone with an auditory convincer has to hear it to be convinced. The person with a kinaesthetic convincer needs to experience for themselves.

The convincer rep system accounts for the irritating phenomenon of people who receive memos or emails but don’t act on them until someone calls them on the ‘phone and asks. (Auditory convincer) Or the people who agree to your proposal outlined in a meeting but do nothing until they see it confirmed in writing. (Visual convincer) And the customer who has listened to your explanation but would much prefer it if you could fax something to her to look at! (Visual again)

The second aspect of convincer strategies is the convincer demonstration. Going back to that new colleague, how often does the person have to demonstrate their competence for you to be convinced? Answers to this question will usually fit one of four categories:

Automatic

The person with an automatic convincer will assume that the new colleague is competent unless they demonstrate otherwise. You can convince this person quite easily, but so can everyone else! They are easy to sell to and readily give their support for new ideas. They are probably the ‘early adopters’ of new technology. Being easily convinced, they can change their minds quickly and don’t always stay committed to a decision once they have made it. Interestingly, lots of sales people have automatic convincers and find it difficult to understand why other people are not as easily convinced as they are themselves.

Number of times

This person has to have the demonstration repeated several times before they are convinced. If you’re selling to someone like this, either show them the product this number of times, or show them this number of alternatives. For the customer services team I was working with this knowledge made a big difference. Their comments changed from “Why did I have to repeat myself FOUR times to that man – is he stupid???” to “I’ve just had someone on the ‘phone with a four times convincer” – imagine how much this reduced their stress. As a general rule, the higher the number of times a person has to run their strategy in order to be convinced, the more committed they will be to the decision once it is made. Persuading them to change their mind will also involve the same number of repetitions to achieve the necessary conviction.

There is potentially a shortcut to this, although it will only work if you have good rapport with the person. Suppose you need to convince someone who has a five-times convincer but you don’t have time to go through your proposal five times. After the second time, you say something like “If I’ve explained this to you once I must have explained it five times, isn’t it time you made a decision?” As I said, it only works if you have good rapport…

Period of time

This person needs a period of time to be convinced. It was probably someone with this style who invented the ‘trial period’. It might be a few hours or it might be months, but this person always needs this period time to be convinced. If you’re seeking their support for your project and they say ‘I’ll think about it’ ask them how long they’d like before you meet again. Don’t assume that this is a polite way of saying no.

Again, there is a possibility of a shortcut. Suppose you want to convince someone with a period of time convincer of three months. You present your proposal and they tell you they need to think about it. Do you wait three months? Unless you also have a three months convincer, probably not. So, if you contact the person again after a few weeks, you can open the discussion with a comment such as, “I’ve been so busy since we last discussed this proposal, it feels like at least 3 months since we spoke”. Again, it only works if you have good rapport but for those of us not endowed with the patience to wait three months for an answer it can really speed up the process!

Consistent

This person is actually never convinced. They require repeated demonstration of your competence or the quality of your idea or your product. Nothing you can say or do will convince them. These people make tough managers, as you’ll only ever be as good as your last result in their eyes. Paradoxically, they can sometimes they end up appearing to be inconsistent inasmuch as they may strongly support someone they believe to be doing well, but then if that person fails in any way to meet their standards, they will cease to support them and look for a new champion. Over a period of time it can appear that different individuals are ‘flavour of the month’ for a time, before falling out of favour and making way for the next one. If you want to sell to someone with a consistent convincer, acknowledge that you can’t convince them. One of the ladies in the bridalwear shop had a customer with a consistent convincer. She eventually told her “I know that I can’t convince you that this is the perfect dress for you. You’ll only know for sure when you’re walking down the aisle in it on your wedding day”. She made the sale AND the customer was happy. Treat as a skeptic and try future pacing.

To make full use of convincers, it helps to know your own convincer strategy. If you have, for example, a three time convincer and you make a sale to a person with an automatic convincer, you might not be convinced that they have really bought unless they tell you 3 times! Save them the effort and tell yourself three times – it works just as well.

When I got a verbal face to face order from a major UK Theme Park for a cleaning machine, effectively I didn’t believe the guy because I was more bothered about making sure the equipment was correct for his situation. Perhaps my convincer number was different to his Automatic.

Of course, the main piece of information you’ll need to be able to make use of all of the above, is the convincer strategy of the person you want to influence. Most of them won’t know themselves and even if they did, in the normal course of business it wouldn’t be appropriate ask! However, most people will tell you, if you know what to listen for.

For example, the customer services team quickly found that the way a person described their problem often gave some clues as to their convincer strategy. After all, they must be convinced that they have a problem! The kind of things customers said varied from “It hasn’t been working properly for about a month, I knew it was time I got some advice” (period of time – one month) to “I’ve tried it 3 times and it just won’t work” (number of times – three) and “I’ve never had any trouble with it and then today it completely packed up” (automatic).

By listening carefully to the way a customer describes the problem, it’s possible to discover their convincer strategy and then use it to convince the same person that you have a solution for them.

Questions from Words That Change Minds Mobile Site:

• Q: How do you know when a supplier is good at their job? (See, Hear, Read, Do)
• A: They have to be able to deliver fresh products really quickly, certainly within 24 hours. (Do)
• Q: How many times would you have to get rush deliveries within 24 hours to be convinced that they were a great supplier?
• A: 3 or 4 I guess, why do you ask?

Template questions:

• How would know if someone else bought a great ….? (See, Hear, Read, Do)
• How many times would you have to (insert answer from above) to be convinced they bought a great…..? (Number of examples, Automatic, Consistent, Period of Time)
• How do you know a colleague is good at their work? (See / Hear / Read / Do)
• How many times do you have to (insert answer from above) to be convinced they are good at their work? (Number of Examples, Automatic, Consistent, Period of Time)

 

A collection of ideas and thoughts about selling cookery classes and soups and sauces.

Sources: Lou Larsen; Shelle Rose Charvet; Matt Fox; Cialdini; NLP selling book; Business metaphor?

The selling goal …

-The paradox is that you are really after feelings as a result of achieving your goals and these you can feel now. Imagine what it’s like to feel the feelings ahead of time and then approach getting the goal without need.

By being up front with the customer you remove any fears they may have and establish trust with them.

My job is to sell “Soups and Sauces” . I’m going to do this buy asking you some questions and then if I feel we have soup or sauce for you then I’m going to ask you if you would like to sign up for a sale and then you have two choices – YES (raise right hand and say with raised pitch) or you can of course say NO (lower left hand and say with lower voice tone) I want you to make the right choice.

People buy for only two reasons :

1 Away from – a problem away from pain

2 Towards – to gain pleasure

Tag questions, quotes and embedded commands

-The two keys to customer satisfaction and loyalty include: Accuracy (doing what you say you’re going to do) and, Availability, the product/service/person is there when a customer needs them.

A key skill in selling is pre-empting objections and empathising with the customers point of view. Finding out their frustrations and offering solutions.

 

Hi Ace

If I could show you a simple way to change someone’s mind, have them take your advice, reverse their opinion, or make them buy from you quickly, would you be interested?

Then go to:

http://ebook.nlp-techniques.com/extreme/

There you will find more information on using some of the world’s most effective and powerful language patterns and persuasion techniques. I think you’ll find it quite interesting — and quite unlike anything you’ve seen before.

But there is a way to get them a bit more motivated by injecting your ad with a little self-consciousness, a little keeping-up-with-the-Joneses, even a little old-fashioned.

And all you need is one word.

What is it?

The word “still”.

“Still” implies that your prospects are stuck in the past. It can imply that what they are doing is wrong. It can imply that their problems haven’t been solved. It also suggests that your product is up-to-date, trend setting, new, etc.

HERE ARE SOME FRAMES:

“If you’re still….”

“Are you still…?”

“Do you still…?”

HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES:

“If you’re still using Microsoft Word to create documents…” (Maybe you are selling another type of word processing software, you’d give reasons why your product is better than Word.)

“Are you still searching for your soul mate?” (For a dating service or relationship book)

“Do you still use Yahoo to search the internet?” (Here you’d give reasons why you shouldn’t be using Yahoo.)

When I use this frame in writing ads for my clients, I like to use the question form more (Do you still..?/Are you still…?) because asking questions of your readers demands an answer. We are programed to answer questions. Don’t you agree with me?

Are you still using standard language in your ads…and getting stale results, then take a look at the following:

 

Luckily we have a word that can be used in many situations where you are trying to persuade someone. And you’ve probably seen it in a number of successful advertisements. That word is “imagine.”

When you use imagine as an imperative (a command) like this, you pretty much engage a person’s entire internal experience. This makes it quite appealing.

• Imagine what it would be like…

• Imagine for a moment that it’s a month from today…

• Now imagine you…

• Imagine what you could do if you…

• Allow yourself to imagine a scene of…

• Just imagine how you’ll feel…

• What happens when you imagine…?

At the end of the frame you future pace the benefit of doing what you want them to do. You could also future pace the consequences of not doing what you want them to do. But generally, it’s more effective if you future pace the positive.

You can also use these Imagine frames to start a bulleted list of benefits.

Here are some examples of the above frames:

•  “Imagine what it would be like after you mastered these language patterns.”

•  “Imagine for a moment that it’s a month from today and you can persuade just about anybody with these patterns.”

•  “Now imagine you just gave a business presentation and your audience was completely enthralled.”

•  “Imagine what you could do if you could persuade thousands of people at the same time.”

•  “Allow yourself to imagine a scene of total success.”

•  “Just imagine how you’ll feel after you experience the power of these language patterns.”

• “What happens when you imagine people actually doing the things you told them to do?”

 

1. Get clear on your outcome. What do you want your target to do, think, feel, or believe?

2. Use this frame –

Maybe you haven’t (YOUR OUTCOME) yet.

EXAMPLES:

“Maybe you haven’t read my book yet.”

“Maybe you haven’t put it out of your mind yet.”

“Maybe you haven’t decided to come with me yet.”

This language pattern is great in that you start getting your target to actually think about what you want with less resistance. After all, you are only making an assumption.

This is very similar to the sales techniques of the Assumptive Close. This is where you act as-if the prospect is going to buy:

“When should we deliver it to your house?”

“What will your neighbors say when they see it?”

“Where will you put it?”

As I’ve mentioned before, you can stack additional language patterns onto this pattern to make it stronger and more complete. You can add embedded commands, Reasons-why, and linguistic binds. Like this,

Maybe you haven’t checked out the following catalog yet. It’s a good idea to  take a look now  because you will find all sorts of information on how to sell more of your products and services.

 

Here’s the frame:

Most/Many/ (NUMBER) people feel (WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO FEEL) when they (WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO DO).

EXAMPLES:

•  “Most people get excited when they study NLP language patterns.”

•  “Many people feel a great sense of relief after coming to ABC Resume Service.” (for a resume/CV writing company)

• “Many people feel a deep sense of contentment when they enter this house.” (for a real estate agent)

This language pattern also uses the powerful influence of Social Proof which states that most people look to see what others are doing and take their cue to behave in a certain way from what they know others are doing.

And of course you can convert the first part of this language pattern (the emotion) into an embedded command.

You can use types of people in the first part of this language pattern as well: “Thousands of marketers feel inspired when they use NLP in their advertising.”

LIST OF POSITIVE EMOTIONAL STATES

Here’s a collection of positive states to use in the Truisms of Sensation pattern.

Joy – Relief – Serenity – Interest – Connected – Fascinated – Inspired – Awe – Accepted – Brave – Fulfilled – Assertive – At ease – Understood – Strength – Sensational – Revitalized – Satisfied – Reassured – Powerful – Positive – Passionate – Motivated – Liberated – Independent – Honored – Grounded – Energized – Fortified – Free – Content – Pleased – Invincible – In control – Supported

There are plenty more emotional words in any thesaurus that would be a perfect fit for the people you are targeting.

 

And the process is simple. You merely say something (or things) that a person would likely agree with or to. Then you add the suggestion you really want to implant.

The structure would go like this:

<EASILY ACCEPTED SUGGESTION(S) or FACT(S) or OPINION(S)> + <WHAT YOU WANT THE PERSON TO THINK OR DO>

Here are some examples:

● You are resting comfortably in that chair. It’s nice and pleasant to go into a deep trance.

● Communicating clearly is vitally important for business, isn’t it? Your company needs to take this seminar to do well in these problematic economic times.

● It’s imperative to be able to influence and persuade people. And it’s important to have a specific method of doing that. NLP languagepatterns contain that method elegantly and eloquently.

Is/Are (SUBJECT) (X)?

(X) is something positive or negative you want your readers/listeners to think about or believe. But it has to be a chunk or two up a level and not at the same level as the subject; this would just lead to a normal “Yes/No” question. For example,

“Are Doberman pinchers black and brown?”

That’s just a plain question about a type of dog. It’s asking about something on the same level (a physical description).

Now if we up the power of (X) we create a rhetorical question that states your opinion. Like this:

“Are Doberman pinchers the best guard dogs for your home?”

That was for a positive spin. For something negative, we could do this:

“Are Doberman pinchers the world’s most dangerous dog?”

Used this way, a “simple” Yes/No question becomes a way to inject a presupposition into it, especially if the person reading your piece doesn’t have a formed opinion or knowledge about your subject. On the other hand, if your reader knows about the subject you are writing about, they might be intrigued to read more about your views and thoughts on the subject.

This pattern makes a great headline in that it gets your prospective reader curious, and that’s always a good state to get people into…especially if you are selling something.

 

In NLP’s Meta-Model, we have a violation called “Mind Reading”. It’s where someone believes they know the thoughts, feelings, intentions or motivations, of another person or persons. Like these:

• They must think I’m a fool.
• You wouldn’t understand.
• They hate me.
• You know what I’m going through.
• She should know how I feel.

As you can see, these are quite disempowering. We would use the Meta-Model to deconstruct these beliefs and to find out how the speaker came to these conclusions.

But interestingly enough, there is a Milton Model language pattern that uses mind reading for therapeutic benefit.

I know you’re wondering … (“I know you’re wondering what you will experience during this session.”)

When we use Erickson’s Mind Reading in our conversation, writing, and advertising we can create a sense of empathy to deepen rapport with our recipient. It becomes somewhat of a pacing statement. Some copywriters call this method “Psychic Influence” because we are telling our recipients how they feel or what they are thinking at the moment.

Here are some frames you can use:

• I know you …
• You’re probably thinking …
• Presently you …
• In the past you …
• Remember when you…?

Some examples:

• “I know you are going to love this.”
• “You’re probably thinking that this isn’t going to work.”
• “Presently you need help with mastering language patterns.”
• “In the past you’ve had trouble communicating clearly with people and getting what you wanted.”
• “Remember when you first realized the power of NLP language patterns?”

The last pattern is useful in that it can invoke nostalgia, a powerful emotion in many people. “Remember when you were a kid and you finally discovered you could read?”

With this pattern you can make your recipient of your message feel empathy, rapport and understanding; bring on strong emotions (your message will be much more powerful if you make it more emotional); admit they have a problem (that you can solve). Use it with a mix of other language patterns to get your readers or listeners highly motivated.