Feel Felt Found

That old classic ..

Andy Smith http://coachingleaders.co.uk/feel-felt-found-works-better/

The standard formulation of the objection handling technique goes like this:

  1. Tell them “I understand how you feel”. This is intended to tell the customer that you have heard them, and can empathise.
  2. Tell them about someone else who felt the same way initially. You’re telling the customer that they are not alone, and that things can change.
  3. Then tell them how that person found that when they did what you wanted/bought the product, they got what they wanted. 

For example:  ”I understand you feel that there are cheaper competitors around. One of our biggest customers felt that way initially, but when they tried the service they foundthat they saved 55% on their cost base.”


“Some people feel Mercury in Retrograde is the cause of all kinds of weirdness.”

 “I know a lot of people felt that way until they decided to take charge of their future no matter what obstacles present…”

…and found that no matter how much random weirdness occurred, it was still up to us to follow through on all our responsibilities and promises.”

In order to craft ‘Feel, Felt, Found’ patterns effectively, you have to accurately identify what it is that the person is feeling or believing (‘Mercury in retrograde’ in the first part of the pattern) and identify something else they want or believe that is more empowering or useful (follow through on your responsibilities) for what was ‘found’. Effectively you are building a bridge from the objection to a more useful expectation. The belief or desire in the ‘found’ section has to be important to the person for this pattern to work. If they don’t value it, if it doesn’t carry some kind of emotional charge, the pattern will have no power.

useful tip for strengthening the ‘found’ part of the pattern, particularly in a business context, which is to personalise the ‘found’ example with real life statistics and figures relevant to the customer, so that they can form a clearer, sharper picture of exactly what they could gain if they go with your product or service.

A possible alternative is to
use Think – Thought – Found, for that group of people who use
rationalising strategies rather than feelings (in appropriate contexts).

Behaviour Breeds Behaviour right?

There’s an old saying within the Cabin Crew World that goes like this:

“Behaviour Breeds Behaviour” and I’m not really sure where it came from so I thought I’d have a deeper look at it for my own amusement.

I guess if we consider the blueprint of behaviour then of course two people or more in a dialogue must influence the others by their behaviour. The way people rect to our behaviour will depend therefore on their state, physiology and map of the world.

Check out Shelle’s “The Customer is bothering me”.
Diane’s work on not getting on with somebody.
Disassociation and dissociation.
10 questions may help.

Displayed behaviour: aggression , negativity, feeling disrespected and belittled if we slip into a defensive approach.

What to be aware of: your own state and posture. Your initial reaction. Your outcome. To be dissociated from your emotions will help to keep calm. This will send signals that you are a leader and can actually help out here. Be aware of the big picture time wise and how this episode fits into the big scheme of things.

What to avoid : sounding patronising, being defensive and trying to explain the situation which come as a knee jerk reaction by most folk who care about what they are doing. These customers seem to hit our hotspots which automatically generates a defensive response. Suggesting that they “keep calm” which will possibly exacerbate the situation.

What the customer needs: To feel validated and listened to. To be heard out and to feel that their pain has been has been acknowledged.

How to behave : be compassionate for a few minutes which will calm them down.
Where are you from?
How long have you been “x” ?